Sapa: Rainy Mountains & the Legend of Chum

Jeremy would like to start this post off by stating that the Vietnamese overnight sleeper train is his favorite method of travel and/or sleeping. (Also, I'm not the alleged sharter from a few posts ago, thanks though Al.)

After taking the overnight train from Hanoi we arrived in Lao Cai on the Chinese border around 5 AM on May 29th. From there we took a minibus up the mountains to Sapa, which took about 1.5 hours. When we stepped out of the bus in Sapa we were hit by cold air, rain, and fog. A nice contrast to the rest of the region, the temperature up there was around 60 deg. F. We had already looked up a good hostel called Lotus Hotel, and were able to shake off the myriad of touts trying to give us "a special price" for their particular hostel/hotel.


Now, we'd like to point out one, big cultural difference that we've discovered: the appropriateness of physical contact. It started on the overnight train when we decided to all rock out in just our underwear (we've also noticed that wearing underwear is always appropriate, a point which we will return to in a later post). The man in our neighboring cabin took a stroll down the hall and on his way by felt the urge to pat and rub Jonas's belly. Not that weird, right? Well, it didn't end there. When we first boarded the minibus in Lao Cai we were all feeling extremely well rested from the sleep in the overnight train (most probably because this was the first night we'd had air conditioning on the whole trip) and were uncharacteristically full of energy this early in the morning. As we waited for other passengers to board the minibus, we broke out the iPod minispeakers and rocked out to Jeremy's "Eurotrash" playlist. One of the Vietnamese guys nearby was apparently also feeling the music and playfully reached out and gave Pete's dong a little honk-honk. It wasn't anything big but, nonetheless, we were all intrigued and extremely entertained by this. Later, we got an explanation from our guide Chum, who said, "Maybe he was just trying to play a little music... playing your guitar." The Vietnamese are truly musical geniuses if they can master the skin-flute to make guitar noises (especially with an instrument of this size... this is what you get for not contributing to posts, Pete).

Back to the trip... Sapa is home to many of Vietnam's ethnic minorities, such as the Hmong people, who live in their villages in the mountains. When walking down the street, you are guaranteed to be approached by at least 5 little village girls trying to sell you handbags, bracelets, and other random ornaments. These villagers were very good at English, something that must be attributed to the large number of tourists that frequent Sapa every year.

After checking in at our hostel we tracked down a nice little Pho restaurant to start our day off with the traditional Vietnamese breakfast: beef noodle soup (!). Walking around town, we quickly gained a following of 10-15 Hmong girls between the ages 8 and 13, who seemed to just want to practice their English and chat with foreigners (we later realized this may just have been their way to "butter us up" before trying to make a sale). Wherever we went, these little girls would follow, chit-chatting about random things and asking us what we were doing next. It was quite comical.

After eating and spending some time at an internet cafe, we set out to find a trekking/adventure tour agency to book a trekking trip for the afternoon (sorry Laur, Yem didn't get back to us in time). By luck, we stumbled upon a little store run by a man who introduced himself as Chum (pronounced "Choom"). Little did we know that this short and slightly pudgy Tay (Vietnamese ethnic minority) man would soon become a legend amongst us. Chum quoted us a price of $12 per person for a motorbike/trekking tour of the mountain with "Chum's #1 Tours in Sapa." When we tried to negotiate the price down he merely laughed and said, "I am Chum. I am best tour guide in Sapa. $12 is minimum price. I don't rip you off, I give you best tour. $12, no negotiation." This was followed by all of us agreeing to pay the $12 and starting a highly appreciated "Chum-Chum-Chum-Chum-Chummmm!!!" chant, which would become a standard event throughout the day.



We rented three motorbikes and we were off. One bike was driven by Chum, the man himself, with Jonas on the back, the second bike was driven solo by Bond, and the third bike was driven by Petey with Jeremy "Bubble-butt" Menkhaus somehow squeezing onto the seat behind him. Off we went down the steep and muddy dirt mountain roads in the pouring rain. On the way down we saw little children herding massive water buffalo, tons of rice paddies, and a huge marijuana field (Chum claimed that his brother owned the marijuana field, which according to him, is perfectly legal in Vietnam. We looked into the matter but were not able to find a definitive answer.) Other motorbikes, minibuses, and large trucks would go flying by you at high speeds on the narrow and winding mountain road, causing quite a scare or two.


At one point, Jeffrey GUIDER Bond wiped out hard in a big patch of mud just in front of two oncoming vans of foreigners. Only Pete and Jeremy got to witness the acrobatic maneuver, but it is bound to be ingrained in Sapa folklore for years to come. Like the true warrior he is, however, Guider immediately rose to his feet, picked up his bike, and kept driving. Chum drove his motorbike like a mad man, putting the petal to the metal on more than one occasion and making some ridiculous passes. To give Pete some respect, he was not far behind even with Apple Bottom weighing him down...


Chum took us to Ban Ho, the Tay village in which he grew up. Here, we were served a delicious lunch consisting of home-made Pho Bo (beef noodle soup), home-made fries, and pineapple and fried sticky rice for dessert. Chum, whose facial features closely resemble those of a beaver, was hilarious and we had many interesting and highly entertaining conversations with this little Vietnamese man, who spoke English quite well. We then ditched the bikes and hiked up the mountain to an impressive waterfall. We went swimming and cliff diving into the pool at the foot of the waterfall. Jeremy impressed the locals with a backflip or two, but the highlight of the day may have been Petey's trademark bellyflop entry.



After swimming/diving for a while, we got dressed and headed back to Ban Ho. We took our wet clothes off the clothes line and headed back to Sapa. On the trip back, Chum/Jonas wiped out on a slippery rock segment in a large puddle. Jonas had to pull the bike off of a squirming Chum, who was stuck underneath. With all bones in tact we finished the last leg of the journey back to Sapa. After paying Chum we told him he was no longer our tour guide, but that he was now our friend and that we wanted him to come out for drinks with us later that evening. He seemed pumped, and we agreed to meet outside our hostel at 8 PM.

When Chum showed up outside our hostel he was stoned out of his mind, with a big dumb smile on his face and a fat spliff in his mouth. He was hilarious and would laugh hysterically at our attempts at Vietnamese. Together, the 5 of us went to grab some a quick bite for dinner at the bakery in the middle of town. We soon discovered that Chum pretty much ran Sapa, and that the self-proclaimed "Chum Corner" was in fact just that.

After dinner, Chum took us to the pool hall/bar in town. This place had an impressive list of American music and we were given free-reins to DJ for the night (although there were only 4 other people in the bar anyway). Chum hung with us for a while and hustled us in pool, but turned in around 10:30. Luckily, we met a couple Aussies and their friend from the UK. Pete really hit it off with these guys (Caleb and Greg), and stayed out to "have a beer with an old friend" well after the rest of us went back home to the hotel. We had also decided to meet Chum at 10 AM the next morning for another day of adventure...

- Jonas and Jeremy